Christmas Vacation!

Today Christmas vacation from school begins! It's Saturday. We are going take the kids to a U-Cut tree farm. Finish putting up the lights outside. And have lots of fun.
This woman absolutely loves all of the trappings of the Christmas season. The lights, trees, decorations, shopping, wrapping, baking, giving. Sharing with family, friends and neighbors. Yes, we even went to see Santa.
Before you get your engines started take a breath and listen.
If you have read my previous posts you know that I contemplate the gifts of Christmas that never grow old. God's gift of salvation can never be ignored. My children have been taught as soon as they could begin to understand what the roots of Christmas are. For my husband and I the most important part being that God gave his most precious gift through his son Jesus Christ. The gift of salvation. I still believe that Christmas is the beginning of Easter.
We have taught our children that Santa was a historical figure who saw people in need and gave what he had to ease their suffering. Through time others have taken up his mission to ease the suffering of others and in a sense become Saint Nicholas to those they bless. The beauty of this ministry being you can be Santa all year long! All of our children are givers. Even our youngest. The essence of Santa lives in our home.
That is why I love all the secular celebration of Christmas. It is another opportunity to give. I can talk about salvation in a gentle way. The lights represent the star that lead the Wise Men. The tree. Well, for me the tree holds memories of our family. How far we have come in life. The trials we have faced and God has lead us through. The baking and candy making remind me of God's provision.The gifts represent God's greatest gift.  
I love this time of year! 

My Friend

My friend sent me a text today that kind of blew me out of the water. Why on earth was she yelling at me? (She used all caps) What had I done? Said? How? Our last conversation had been fun and relaxed. I enjoy her company and she says she enjoys mine. So why was she upset with me???
When I was younger I know how I would have reacted. It would not have been pretty. I would have been highly offended. Probably would have taken the silent route. Probably would have lost a friend. Thank you Lord for putting other women in my life who have taught me to stop and listen. Hear what isn't being said.
Every day I pray for my kids on our way to school. One thing I ask God for is to put Graciousness in their hearts and on their lips. This has brought many conversations about what Graciousness looks like. For instance, today I really don't feel well, head achy, run down, eyes hurt, kind of not feel good. We were almost done for the day and the kids were bombarding me with questions, I wants, etc and I finally said, "Guys, I really need you to be gracious with me tonight." Their response? "How can we do that, Mama?"  A whole new area of thought and action opened up for them. How to be gracious with someone who isn't feeling well.
My sister/friend needed for me to be gracious towards her. She was very upset and needed prayer and a friend who wouldn't budge. She needed grace.
Our Father God gives us as much grace as we need. He gives it fully and without strings attached. On our part there is never a worry that His grace won't be there. Regardless of how I might yell at him, his grace always dictates that he treat me with love and forgiveness and correction when needed. He will always be there.


One of my favorite old hymns.
Grace Greater Than All Our Sin

Emotions

I had lunch today with a friend who is very dear to my heart. She has been going through some really tough times the last few years. We talked at length about recent events and how God had shown up for her at some really crucial points. At one point she asked, "Why did God give us so many emotions?!" And I want to chime in, "Good question God, why?"
I know the spiritual teaching that Man was made in the image of God. That a man alone could not contain the whole reflection, and so was not complete, so God created woman to reflect the caring, compassionate, emotional attributes of God. When the two come together as man and wife the picture is complete, as it were. If the world was as God meant it to be and not in the corrupt state that it is a man and a woman would compliment each other and function in every way as the perfect reflection of their Maker. BUT, that is not the way it is.
As women we seem to have an unfair blessing in the area of emotions. Overly endowed, maybe?
No, I don't think so. As women we have the privilege of expressing emotion for our families, friends, co-workers, society at large. Our tears heal, express sorrow and love. Our laughter heals and expresses our joy. Our embarrassment crosses fences. Our anger brings change.  Our sadness brings reflection. Our love. Our love does all of the above and so much more. Our love brings life.
Now don't get me wrong. Men have emotions also. For the most part their emotions don't seem to be so close to the surface. Our emotions can make us fragile and a caring man will help his wife keep her balance by sharing his perspective. Women also rely on their friends to help them keep their emotional balance by sharing differing views and experiences on any given situation. As women we recognize when a friend is dealing with too much emotion. She may be depressed, withdrawn, cranky, teary, easily upset. Her reactions to her world may be overly intense. Her friends come to her out of love and concern. Hopefully bringing God's Word as a Light to guide her way. She may need the help of a medical professional to help bring her life back into balance. Nothing to be ashamed of. Something to be shared when the time is right. You are not the only woman whose emotions have gotten out of balance. There were women before you and women who will come after you who experience that emotional tip. Your willingness to share your experience when you are healed and stable again, when you are ready, will guide and relieve that woman who thinks she is the only one who ever got into this situation. Emotions are for sharing and learning.
To think that God entrusted women with His emotions is awe inspiring. What faith He has in us!
Lord, may I be a worthy vessel to reflect you to the people in my life.

     

God's Choice

My number two all time favorite Christmas song is: Joseph's Song by Michael Card. The song comes from Joseph's point of view after he accepts that he is to parent the Son of God. An unimaginable responsibility. I think that Joseph gets overlooked when we talk about the Christmas story. We recognize that Joseph did the right thing by honoring his commitment to Mary. And we like to tell the part about the angel who had to convince him to do the right thing. But have you really thought about him? What made him God's Choice to be the husband of Mary and the earthly father of Jesus? 
Matthew tells us that Joseph was a righteous man. Righteous meaning morally upright, virtuous, a godly person. He was also a man of integrity and compassion. When he learned that Mary was pregnant, not by him, he thought he would put her away privately. He was unwilling to make a public spectacle of her. Granted her supposed shame didn't reflect favorably on himself either. He could very well have been laughed at or lost status in the community, but he was concerned about her. 
He was a spiritual man. While he was trying to figure out what was the best way to handle Mary's pregnancy an angel of the Lord comes to him in a dream. The angel reassures him that Mary has done nothing wrong, and that her pregnancy is of the Holy Spirit. The angel even tells him what he should name the child. Even telling him that the child would be a son. (No ultrasound needed here!) Joseph was so sensitive to spiritual things that the angel came two more times to speak to him in his dreams. Once to tell him to take his son and wife to Egypt to escape Herod and again to come back to Israel after Herod's death.
He was obedient to the laws and customs of the land. He took Mary and went to be counted on the census roles of his ancestral hometown. After Jesus was born he took him to the Temple to be presented to the Lord. 
Joseph took Mary and Jesus home.  For twelve years he was father to the Son of God. Luke tells us that "the child grew and waxed strong (in spirit) filled with wisdom and God's grace was upon him".  Joseph and Mary went yearly to Jerusalem for the feast of Passover. A shadow of things to come. We don't hear anything more about Joseph after Jesus turns twelve. The last mention is when they had gone to Jerusalem for Passover and Jesus stays in the Temple, teaching and conversing with the men there. His parents travel a full day thinking he is with friends or family, not knowing he has stayed behind. They realize he is missing and look for him among their family and friends. Not finding him there they go back to the last place the knew him to be.They search for three days. As a last resort they go to the Temple. There he is. Teaching, discussing, explaining with wisdom beyond his years. I can only imagine how frantic Joseph was. He was responsible for this heavenly child! Mary had to be beside herself with worry. Three days they have looked for him! Finally, with relief they all return home.  And that is the last time we hear about Joseph directly in connection with Jesus. 
We know that Joseph and Mary had children of their own. Matthew 13:53 confirms this. This is also where we learn that Joseph was a carpenter, that Jesus had brothers and sisters. 
What a man Joseph must have been to be God's Choice. To be the earthly father of the One who would restore mankind to fellowship with God. I've often thought that when our young women are looking for the man who will be their life's companion, they should use Joseph as the measuring stick to hold any potential young men up against. 


What a man Joseph was. What a husband. What a father. God's Choice! 

Mother and Son

One of my favorite Christmas songs is "Mary did you know?". The writer wonders if Mary knew the full scope of the miracle child she would give birth to. Did she know he would be a healer? That he would have power over nature. That he would restore relationships. That his life and death would galvanize a nation to seek a new way of finding God. He would give them a new way of interpreting the Holy Scriptures. A new way of leading by serving. What did she know?


She knew that he was a miracle from God.
She knew that she was to name him Jesus.
She knew that he would be great.
She knew that he would be called "Son of the Highest".     
She knew that he was to be given the throne of David his father.
She knew that he would reign over the house of Jacob for the ages.
She knew that his kingdom would not end.


All of this Gabriel the angel told her. This is all the angel Gabriel told her. He didn't tell her about the miracles her son would do. He didn't tell her of the political unrest that would follow him. Even cause his death. He didn't tell her how long her son would live. Or how horrible his death would be.


When each of my children was born I was in awe of the miracle of birth and life. I was in awe of each little life. My oldest son was four months old his first Christmas. I remember that as I rocked him and fed him I wondered what his life would be like. Where would he go? What would he do? Could I raise him in such a way that he would make a difference in this world. These same questions I had pondered with the girls but this time was a little different. 


As we rocked and listened to Christmas songs I thought of Mary. Had she experienced the same questions? Probably. At what point did she realize just how special her son was? Did things come easily for him? I imagined her saying something like: "Jesus, please go pick up your Father's tools." and him answering: "Which Father? Remember Mama, I am the One who created the world. My tools are the words I speak." Her response: "Stop teasing me and go help your father Joseph!"
At what point did she know him as God? 


She believed from the beginning. She accepted Gabriel's proclamation over her and the child to be. At the wedding of Cana she proves her faith in him, by telling the servants to do whatever he told them to do. I love his gentle chiding of her. "Woman, it's not my time yet". Still she tells the servants to obey him. That's a mother's love and faith for you.


I think of my own sons. I know what their gifts and talents are. I know what their potential is. And I believe they can and will do great things for God and mankind. There have been times I have told others "not to worry my son will take care of it". Whatever "it" is. Fully believing that he could and would take care of the "it". There have also been times when he has chided me for not asking him if he felt that he could do whatever I had obligated him to do. I relate to the mother/son exchange between Mary and Jesus at that wedding. The love and faith.


What a unique and marvelous place to be. Halfway between the Old Testament promise of a Saviour and the New Testament fulfillment of those promises. Mary, what a wonder you were. Mary, we still recognize and proclaim: "Blessed are you among women!"




Luke 1: 30 - 38
 ³⁰And the angel said to her, Fear not, Mary, for thou hast found favour with God;

 ³¹and behold, thou shalt conceive in the womb and bear a son, and thou shalt call his name Jesus.

 ³²*He* shall be great, and shall be called Son of [the] Highest; and [the] Lord God shall give him the throne of David his father;

 ³³and he shall reign over the house of Jacob for the ages, and of his kingdom there shall not be an end.

 ³⁴But Mary said to the angel, How shall this be, since I know not a man?

 ³⁵And the angel answering said to her, [The] Holy Spirit shall come upon thee, and power of [the] Highest overshadow thee, wherefore the holy thing also which shall be born shall be called Son of God.

 ³⁶And behold, Elizabeth, thy kinswoman, she also has conceived a son in her old age, and this is the sixth month to her that was called barren:

 ³⁷for nothing shall be impossible with God.

 ³⁸And Mary said, Behold the bondmaid of [the] Lord; be it to me according to thy word. And the angel departed from her. 

Women and Christmas

Christmas. It either brings out the best or the worst in women. There is the woman who buys gifts in August and is all done by September. Her baking is done by November and in the freezer. Her decorations are up the day after Thanksgiving. She takes her children caroling. She has gifts for the teachers, pastors, mail person, newspaper delivery person. On Christmas Eve she is calm, dressed impeccably, has everything ready for Christmas morning. You get the picture. Everything is done and looks so pretty. I am not that woman.

There is also the woman who is angry about all of the demands the holidays put on her life. The changes in her schedule. The strain on her budget. The expectations of family and friends. She would rather not participate. I am not this woman either.

I love the holidays. For me they start in August. We have several family birthdays from August through to October. Then comes Thanksgiving in November and then Christmas in December and then more birthdays in January. In spite of my best laid plans I am never as ready as I would like to be. More often than not things happen at the last minute.  But that is part of the fun. My son looks forward to the baking marathon. He helps his Dad put up the lights. We love the sparkle of the lights, the shine of the decorations, the deep reds and golds, and silvers.  Not everything gets put up. Not everything gets baked. Not all of the plans come to be. And it's ok.

All three of us are Christian Women. The Perfectionist, The Overwhelmed, and The Fly by the Seat of Her Pants. What I pray is we don't lose sight of what the celebration is all about. I know, I know the actual season Christ was born was Spring. I personally don't think the date is all that important. What IS important is to recognize the gift that God gave to mankind. We could debate the pagan origins of modern holidays. But what does that accomplish? In my humble opinion those debates detract and possibly dissuade people from believing in the miracle of Christ. For me Christmas is the beginning of Easter. God sent a sacrifice to redeem mankind from sin. That redemption brings restoration. That restoration means that I, little imperfect me, can now walk with God through the garden of my life. I can hear his voice when he calls my name and says come walk with me and lets talk. Ladies, this is the beauty of Christmas. Please don't get caught up in all of the trappings but pause and rest in the peace of restoration to fellowship with God our creator.
Thank You Lord for this most precious of all gifts.  

A Woman's Heart for her Children

I have to admit to some tears tonight. 
Since I was a young teen I knew that God had a place for me in ministry. What that would be I didn't know. I still don't know. It seems the important thing has been to be faithful to serve wherever we attend church. So I pray and ask for the right door to open. At this church I've held back a little. I don't know why. I have finally volunteered for one service a month in the children's church where my children attend. 
For a long time I thought my husband and I would be pastoring a church. Instead we have pastored individuals. I admit to being hungry to reach more people. I pray and believe that one of those individuals we have ministered to will become a pastor who reaches millions. Will we ever be in a position to bring God's love to the world at large?
Lord use me!
So why the tears you ask? Because our three older children we raised in church, talking about God and his love. We made sure they knew how to become a follower of Christ. What salvation means. We talked about grace being for all people. As they became teenagers and saw things that didn't line up with their ideas of christian living we talked about what bothered them. Explaining how each individual has a personal relationship with God. And how to pray that God meet each person right where they are at this point in time.
The tears are because it appears they have walked away from having a daily walk with the God they once were so proud of. The tears are because they are so full of God given talent and potential. My prayer tonight is different. It's not about me and the ministry I might have, it's about my children and the ministries they might have.


Holy Spirit, 
Comfort and heal the hearts of my children. Answer the hunger of their hearts. Fill them with Godly wisdom. I firmly believe that as we have brought them up to honor you Lord to the best of our ability, you will honor our hearts and your Word will not return void. They will be like trees planted by still waters. Bending but not breaking. My sons will be known as Men of God, men of integrity, honesty, wisdom, love. My daughters will be known as blessed Women of God, full of integrity, honesty, wisdom, love. They will be known for their ministry to others in the name of the Lord.
Thank you for honoring your Word and my heart.
In Jesus name - Amen


What does a Christian Woman look like? She cries and she prays for her children.

Adoption

So much has happened in the last few days. It feels like weeks have gone by.

Our special pearl of a woman, Aunt Irene, passed away and was buried. In the course of that event we found out that an uncle had also passed away several months ago. Another uncle is very ill and in the hospital. My husband is feeling the ties to his childhood fray as each strand wears thin and breaks. My heart grieves for him. I pray for him and bring up happy memories so that he can talk about those boyhood days, when all of these precious people were on the walls of his life. Now they have become more like the old family photos that are in the album you bring out from time to time. The rhythm of life beats on. Birth, Life, Death. It's current tempo is sobering, thought provoking.

On a more exciting note we celebrated Thanksgiving at our home. Lot's of good food. Lots of family. Games for all and an old fashioned hymn sing to finish off the day. Perhaps because of the reality of older family members passing on recently, this year seemed so much sweeter.

And then...the best news of all. We have a court date of Dec 21st to make our adoption of our little girl official! It's finally happening. I remember when she finally relaxed and trusted me. She was 7 months old and had a horrible ear infection. She was in so much pain even with the medicine. I sat up and rocked her all night long. It was late and she was so tired from crying. She raised herself up and looked me in the eyes. The agony and confusion on her face was heartbreaking. I started praying, asking God to ease her pain and heal her ears. Humming softly. All of a sudden she kind of nodded her head, relaxed her body and against me. The bond of trust and love that was forged that night is stronger than ever. How I thank God for trusting us with this precious little girl.
I watched her this Thanksgiving. Loving everyone around her. Involved. In the years since that night she has become very much a member of our family.

What does a Christian Woman look like? She is loving, flexible, attentive to the needs of those around her. She does her best to keep the rhythm life at a steady beat.

A Pearl Like No Other

I've been quiet for the last few days because life has been especially busy. In the middle of it all we received one of those phone calls no on likes to make or receive. My husbands aunt has passed away.
Aunt Irene was a spitfire! Tiny, red-headed, and BUSY. I first met her shortly after I married into the family. She and her sister, Aunt Ruth, came to visit their mother, Grandma Ola. Ruth was quiet and reserved, but Irene... The memories still make me smile.
Over the years I learned a little about her life. Which wasn't easy. There were family struggles growing up. A marriage that produced two sons. And ended in divorce. A home for boys. A long career with the California Parks Department. A new love who became her husband and new daughters that came with him. She brought her mother to come and live with her after she retired. Caring for her until her death. 
The last time I had the privilege of visiting with her she talked about that time she had caring for Grandma Ola at the end of her life. She was honestly grateful for the time God had given them. Time to talk and heal their relationship. It had suffered from misunderstandings and life tragedies almost from the beginning. I can only imagine what must have been going through her mind.  The thought of bringing her mother into her home, knowing she would have to care for her completely, with pain from past hurts still prickling between them had to be an unsettling undercurrent to all of the preparations that had to be made. I won't forget how her eyes and face softened when she spoke of the healing their relationship experienced as they spent long hours together, just the two of them.
My father in law passed away before any of his siblings and before Grandma Ola. Aunt Irene recognized the hole the death of my father in law left in our lives. She stepped up to keep us included/connected with the family. Christmas cards, letters through out the year, the occasional phone call. Always telling us what the rest of our far flung extended family was up to. Asking questions about our little family. Remembering what our children were doing and sending little things she would find that related to them. One year she heard that our older son was considering a career in politics but was also interested in ministry. She painstakingly put together a spiritual family history for him. We discovered that she had traced our spiritual heritage back at least five generations. Each generation having at least two who became ministers. What a priceless gem she gave us!
I am going to miss her notes. Always so neat. The last few years she had taken to penciling lines in her cards to make sure her writing was straight. She always cared. I've had cancer a couple of times and she would send little cards with notes of encouragement and prayers. She donated to the Gideon's Society in my name as a way of showing support.
Grandma Ola loved music and so did her children. And her grandchildren and great grandchildren. Aunt Irene played piano. She played for the "traditional" service at church and well, pretty much whenever she could. When she heard that our daughter was seriously pursuing music she started sending sheet music. That's how she was. Always encouraging. Some distant cousins have formed bands. She would send us emails with information on where we could find their music. As well as where they were performing. Always keeping everyone in the loop.
Her brother, Clifford, was interested in science and wrote extensively. She always supported him. Editing his papers and passing them along for our review. Always supportive.
The last time we saw her she gave us a couple of old photos of my father in law. She took my husband and I aside and gently shared some family history that we didn't know. She felt it was important that my husband know his father's history. As things turned out it was a good thing she took the time to do that. She also made sure we knew how my father in law found his faith in God. Taking care of that spiritual heritage.
Even though my mother in law has remarried, twice now, since my father in law passed away, Aunt Irene made it clear that she was still part of this family. Welcoming. Inclusive.
Through out every conversation I've ever had with her she wove her faith and her belief that healing, peace, reconciliation are there for all. Always praying for family members who may have strayed from their faith.
A pearl is created as the result of an irritant in the oysters shell. The oyster secrets fluid in an attempt to wash out the irritant. The fluid often sticks and hardens around the irritant and after a long time a beautiful pearl is formed. This is Aunt Irene. A woman who had some significant irritants in her shell that became the precious pearl reflecting her beautiful soul.


Thank you, Father God, for giving us the gift of Aunt Irene.
  


Matthew 5:


 ³ “Blessed are the poor in spirit, 
   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 
⁴ Blessed are those who mourn, 
   for they will be comforted. 
⁵ Blessed are the meek, 
   for they will inherit the earth. 
⁶ Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, 
   for they will be filled. 
⁷ Blessed are the merciful, 
   for they will be shown mercy. 
⁸ Blessed are the pure in heart, 
   for they will see God. 
⁹ Blessed are the peacemakers, 
   for they will be called children of God. 
¹⁰ Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, 
   for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Gossipers

As some of you may have noticed I wrote about a Pastor Friend who stumbled not too long ago. Her actions have led to some serious heartache for many people who looked up to her. The fall out is still unfolding and hurting. My heart aches for her.
As expected the gossip is flying. Why? What does it help? So you know someone who knows someone who is kind of friends with someone who knows someone who heard... Even if you are intimate with the details, what does it serve to share them in whispers to ears who don't need to know the details? Wouldn't you rather be known for the good that you do? Wouldn't you rather give the gift of a compliment? Encouragement? Instruction in doing good? 
Does this behaviour reflect the love that God's Word exhorts us to hold for each other? Does love behave this way?
I know that there is a temporary rush from sharing a piece of information that may not be common knowledge. That fleeting moment of importance. Unfortunately the moment passes. The impression you left is that you aren't to be trusted with confidential information. Yikes! Do you really want to be thought of like that?
Please I beg you, repent in the truest way. Turn from the gossip and spread words of comfort and healing. The tongue can kill and it can heal. What a mighty tool it is!

^{Proverbs 21:23
23}He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from troubles.

Leading by Example

My youngest daughter's birthday was last month. She is now 9 years old. For many reasons we didn't celebrate with her friends until this month. She finally decided on going to see a musical put on by a local middle school. She invited 8 of her friends. They had a wonderful time. Singing along and totally enjoying the show. Most of my daughter's friends don't speak English as their first language but there was no language barrier between them. Not because she speaks their languages, but because they were all so accepting of each other. I watched her as she greeted her friends with warm hugs. She naturally reached out to touch each one and spent time chatting with each of her guests. Their laughter was a beautiful song through out the restaurant.
I visited with parents who came to pick up their children and at one point I realized that my daughter was imitating me as she made her guests feel welcome and included. I was so proud of her!  
As Christian Women it is important to remember that our beliefs, our morals, our hearts are played out through our actions. Whomever is watching you, is being lead by you. 
Leading by example. Once you become aware that someone is truly watching you and learning from you and even perhaps imitating you the little things you do take on so much more importance. Do you drive the speed limit? Return the shopping cart? Put your trash in the trash can? Pay your bills on time? How do you treat the cashier at the store where you shop? Gossip about the people in your life? Do you cheat at anything? Ugh! Leading by example. The small things in life matter because someone is watching and following. Take a step back and look at your life. Where are you leading those who are watching you?

Titus 2:2-4

Amplified Bible (AMP)

²Urge the older men to be temperate, venerable (serious), sensible, self-controlled, and sound in the faith, in the love, and in the steadfastness and patience [of Christ].
    ³Bid the older women similarly to be reverent and devout in their deportment as becomes those engaged in sacred service, not slanderers or slaves to drink. They are to give good counsel and be teachers of what is right and noble,

    ⁴So that they will wisely train the young women to be ^[a]sane and sober of mind (temperate, disciplined) and to love their husbands and their children, 

Principle's in Action!

So today's situation was a bit challenging. I called and invited my daughter's In Laws To Be for Thanksgiving Day at our home. I was not aware that my daughter had planned to spend Thanksgiving Day with them. That was the first mix up. Suffice it to say that the whole thing devolved from there. Ugh! I was trying to do something good but ended up offending my daughter. Not my intentions at all. 
As a Christian Woman I really try to live the principles I find in God's Word. Principles that I believe are relevant and meant to guide our daily lives. And in the end those principles did save the day. The Mother In Law to Be called and we talked over the communication mix up. An invitation was extended to include them in future family gatherings. 
Bottom line is that I had the opportunity to apply those principles in a sticky situation. I reached out to this new family who are so important to my daughter's life. I was quick to apologize to my daughter. And I heard my Son in Law to Be's voice of reason.
Women your opportunity to lead by example happens everyday. Maybe several times in one day. Be sure of what you believe is God's way of handling life. Not sure what His way is? Let's read His Word together and find out!

Psalm 119:1-3

Amplified Bible (AMP)

Psalm 119

 ¹BLESSED (HAPPY, fortunate, to be envied) are the undefiled (the upright, truly sincere, and blameless) in the way [of the revealed will of God], who walk (order their conduct and conversation) in the law of the Lord (the whole of God's revealed will).    ²Blessed (happy, fortunate, to be envied) are they who keep His testimonies, and who seek, inquire for and of Him and crave Him with the whole heart.
    ³Yes, they do no unrighteousness [no willful wandering from His precepts]; they walk in His ways.

A Tale of Two Women

Since my last post two more women, both of them Christians aka Christ followers, have experienced life impacting changes. Both are women I count as friends. One woman had to make one of the hardest decisions of her life. Her husband has chosen to not live his life with her. She has walked the walk. Following God's Word as carefully as she possibly could. Being the best wife she knows how to be. He made some choices that have put him in a position of need. After much prayer she chose to not help him. The reasons why are many. Some are obvious and some are private. My heart cries for both of them.
The second woman has a husband who is a Christ follower like herself. She has been married before. Has children from other relationships. How she manages her marriage, from the outside, does not appear to follow the principles in God's Word for relationships. Her husband still chooses to honor his vows. My heart cries for both of them.
Both women are Christians. Followers of Christ. One strives to follow God's Word to make her marriage work and one chooses to put her efforts into other things.
My heart is heavy tonight as I contemplate marriages. My own hasn't always been pretty. But when I made the effort to search out how to become a Godly Woman, I began to become a Godly Wife. 
To be a Follower of Christ is to have a relationship with Christ. A relationship by it's very nature implies constant change or adaptation of myself to my partner. A relationship is a give/give situation. Even when we take, we must give back in return. Or else things get lopsided. Someone will grow tired of giving and someone will look for another place to take from. To be sure, there are times when things get lopsided due to life situations, but they must always come back to center. How do we stay centered? By staying in God's Word. Understanding that He alone is our source for everything we have to give.

2 Corinthians 13:10-12

Amplified Bible (AMP)

¹⁰So I write these things while I am absent from you, that when I come to you, I may not have to deal sharply in my use of the authority which the Lord has given me [to be employed, however] for building [you] up and not for tearing [you] down.
    ¹¹Finally, brethren, farewell (rejoice)! Be strengthened (perfected, completed, made what you ought to be); be encouraged and consoled and comforted; be of the same [agreeable] mind one with another; live in peace, and [then] the God of love [Who is the Source of affection, goodwill, love, and benevolence toward men] and the Author and Promoter of peace will be with you.
    ¹²Greet one another with a consecrated kiss.

A Leader Stumbles

I recently learned of another woman Pastor Friend who has experienced a lack of integrity which has caused significant pain for many, many people. To be sure the situation is not hers and hers alone. But because of her public role of leadership the damage has the potential of spreading much farther than I am sure she ever thought possible. My heart is heavy for her and everyone who is intimately involved. Yet even as I was hearing the news via letters written by herself and her husband my first thought was that God can and will restore anything we set at his feet and ask him to restore.
This is most definitely NOT what you expect from a Christian Woman, and yet we all sin. Every single one of us. How much grace does she deserve? Every last drop that I want for myself when I sin. 
Sin is sin in God's eyes. One sin is not less or more than the other. In man's eyes though: Murder is worse than stealing a candy bar. Rape is worse than gossip. A little white lie is acceptable. We forget that all sin has the potential to do extensive damage to those around us and it definitely impacts our own spirit. 
Should she be in a position of leadership again? Only time will tell. She and her husband are fantastic pastors.  How he handles this situation over time will answer that question.
To have a lapse of integrity that is life changing, then admit it knowing how serious the consequences will be is an admirable thing. When was the last time you admitted you had done wrong? Before you were called on it? 
My prayer for my Pastor Friend is that God bathes her with his Grace, Mercy and Love. That this situation will become a testimony to God's Grace, Mercy and Love. I pray that everyone who has been immediately affected by her actions experience the same Grace, Mercy and Love. I pray that relationships are healed and grow stronger than ever imagined. I pray that what could have destroyed so many lives, instead becomes a tool to inspire life in all who hear this testimony.
The last time I spoke to her was to thank her for leading by example. Again I say, Thank you Pastor Friend for leading by example.

Romans 8:38-39

Amplified Bible (AMP)

³⁸For I am persuaded beyond doubt (am sure) that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor things ^[a]impending and threatening nor things to come, nor powers,
    ³⁹Nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

A New Day :)

It's a new day. Thank you Lord for your mercies which are new every morning!


Well, if you read my last post you know that I was pretty upset with my husband. He came home from work and apologized and I of course forgave. I had already forgiven in my heart but it needed to be said out loud. 
God gets angry. People get angry. I think it's what you do when you are angry that counts. It's also important to understand what made you so upset. Then decide what to do about it. In my case I had to forgive. 
My husband doesn't have my skill set. Patience, thinking outside of the box when dealing with an upset child isn't easy. I'm not perfect but I seem to have an easier time with this than he does. There are things he can do that I find so very frustrating. And that is what makes our marriage work. Recognizing our individual strengths and weaknesses. Then bringing them together to form a cohesive team. 


Proverbs 2:13 
¹³He who covers his transgressions will not prosper, but whoever confesses and forsakes his sins will obtain mercy.


And that is why we have to be careful to forgive, to not harbor ill will also known as sin. So is it ok for a Christian Woman to get angry with her husband? I'm thinking the answer is "yes". Just be careful to understand why you are angry so you can forgive and move on. You can't minister effectively to someone you are angry with. 


On a side note, I just finished a book that really has me thinking. And looking at my life in a different way. The book is "Walk the Walk" by Alan Deutschman. It is well worth your time.

Confession

Does a Christian Woman get angry with her husband? It makes me so stinking angry when he walks away while I'm still talking. It would be ok if he would say something. "Just a minute, I have to..." Would be just fine. Grrrrr. I'm still steamed. I try so hard to honor him and respect him.
To be fair we were trying to talk about our son. He has some problems that mean you have to be creative sometimes when you are working with him. My husband, at times, has a hard time thinking outside of the norm. And sometimes I get angry when I'm trying to present a solution that may prevent a future conflict and he blows me off. Does a christian woman behave this way?
^{Psalm 37: 8
8}Cease from anger and forsake wrath; fret not yourself--it tends only to evildoing.


Yes, Lord, I know. Don't stay angry.


Ladies, how do you deal with your anger? Does it matter who it is directed at? Or what the cause is? How do you resolve what you are feeling with what is happening? How long do you stay angry? I know, the Bible says to not let the sun go down on your anger, but is that always possible? Is it ok for a Christian Woman to get angry?

Perfection?

I had a wonderful time on our little vacation. Warm sun, relaxation, kids playing, husband golfing. Lord, forgive me for not stopping sooner to rest and celebrate you and your love all around me.

So I was thinking about the woman at church who is “perfect”. The one I am the extreme opposite of. You know her, she is petite, sweet, always calm, always kind, always perfectly dressed for the situation, carries a little bit of everything in her purse, eats perfect. She is never rushed, always smiling.

Sometimes I get upset because I am most definitely not like her. I am a fighter. I am not afraid to get in God’s face and remind him of his word and what he promises. I believe that trait in me has a lot to do with why I am alive. That and God’s mercy and love for me!

I work hard to advocate for my kids. I push/encourage those I care about to be the best they can be. I'm always encouraging them to use their gifts and talents. The only place I talk softly is in my witness to those I care about. Some would be hitting the ones they love over the head with God’s Word. I choose to live his Word through my actions. Ministering love and forgiveness in practical ways. I’m available when needed. Ready to help in any way I can. But I feel so unpolished. Is that wrong? Should a Christian woman really seek after that “polished” look? Please don’t get me wrong, I am neat and clean and I do get my hair done and occasionally I treat myself to a mani/pedi but not like the “perfect” woman at church. I feel that how I conduct myself reflects on my husband and family. Is this right or wrong? I don’t know. How much is too much? How much is too little? Does it really matter? What do you think?

What does a Christian Woman look like?: Celebrations!

What does a Christian Woman look like?: Celebrations!: This weekend was really busy with birthday celebrations. My youngest daughter turned 9 years old and my granddaughter is now 4 years old. Ho...

Celebrations!

This weekend was really busy with birthday celebrations. My youngest daughter turned 9 years old and my granddaughter is now 4 years old. How I love celebrating them! It makes me think of how God our Father must feel about us. As much as I love my family, his love is beyond my comprehension. As much as I love celebrating them, the celebration that goes on in heaven when each one of us comes to the Father through salvation is inconceivable for me. As I watch my girls and how they light up during their parties and I wonder if I still "light up" or have I become so practical that I can't let myself delight in being celebrated? Too many disappointments have made celebrations hard to accept. Is this pleasing to God my Father? Does it affect my testimony?

Tomorrow we are taking a vacation. Four days of fun in the sun. I am so excited to be able to go somewhere that on the inside I'm shaky. On the outside good ole practical me is packing and planning what to take for the kids. Things to play with on the plane. Swim suits, sun glasses, etc. Don't forget their meds. Did we remember toothbrushes? I want to spin around and laugh and not worry whether or not I remembered everything. After all it's not like we are going to some place far away from civilization. I can always go buy a toothbrush! 

In the morning I will dance and laugh with the children. I won't worry about what I forgot. I will enjoy the gift of time to relax and play. I will CELEBRATE the gift that has been given to me. Life, family, love and most of all You Lord! 

Thank You for providing this much needed break for me. I can't wait!!!!!

Leviticus 23:31-33

21st Century King James Version (KJ21)

 ³¹Ye shall do no manner of work; it shall be a statute for ever throughout your generations in all your dwellings.
   
 ³²It shall be unto you a sabbath of rest, and ye shall afflict your souls. On the ninth day of the month at evening, from evening unto evening, shall ye celebrate your sabbath."

 

Exodus 23:11-13

21st Century King James Version (KJ21)

¹¹but the seventh year thou shalt let it rest and lie still, that the poor of thy people may eat; and what they leave the beasts of the field shall eat. In like manner thou shalt deal with thy vineyard and with thy olive trees.
   
 ¹²"Six days thou shalt do thy work, and on the seventh day thou shalt rest, that thine ox and thine ass may rest, and the son of thy handmaid and the stranger may be refreshed.
   
 ¹³And in all things that I have said unto you be circumspect; and make no mention of the name of other gods, neither let it be heard out of thy mouth.



Ok, it hasn't been 7 years but, Rest on the 7th day, rest the 7th year. And more. God knew our limits and instructed us to rest AND to celebrate our sabbath, our rest!  Father forgive me for not following this law!

What does a Christian Woman look like?: An Anniversary

What does a Christian Woman look like?: An Anniversary: Today's post is all about love, commitment, for better or for worse. 33 years ago today my husband proposed to me. It had been a busy day. ...

An Anniversary

Today's post is all about love, commitment, for better or for worse.
33 years ago today my husband proposed to me. It had been a busy day. I had decided to join his church and part of their membership criteria was you had to be baptized by them. Okey dokes. (I had been saved since I was 8 years old, filled with the Spirit at the same time. Baptized a couple of years later.) My husband-to-be understood where my heart was and so I was baptized. He had made dinner reservations as a surprise. It was my first "formal" dinner. White table cloths, candles, flowers. We were one of the only couples in the restaurant on a Sunday evening. Then we drove along Highway 101. The night was beautiful. A warm wind, clear sky, the moon shining on the ocean waves. We had stopped at a vista point overlooking the beach and we talked. All of a sudden he gets down on one knee and asks me to marry him. It could not have been more perfect.
We were both quite young (19). My husband was called to ministry when he was 14. What that would mean for us we had no idea. 33 years later God still has surprises for us. We have weathered some intense challenges. We have pastored those that God has brought into our lives. We have ministered to families one on one, mothers and fathers, taken in lots of children. Walked with couples through their own crisis. Births, deaths, cancers, addictions, break ups. Life. Some were Christians and some were not. Always we brought God and His Word as the ultimate source for guidance.
All the while growing and maturing ourselves. Growing in our confidence in God and His Word. His love. His power to restore whatever we lay down at his feet. When our own personal crisis have come along we have been able to stand strong. Bend a little but always come back to our foundation. 
When I think of the things I said through my inexperience and lack of knowledge as a young wife to my husband I shudder. I thank God that his Holy Spirit has led me and guided me on my quest to become a Godly woman. And that my husband is forgiving. I am excited to see where the next 33 years take us!

Titus 2:2-4

21st Century King James Version (KJ21)

 ²that the older men be sober, serious, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience;

   
 ³the older women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things,

   
 ⁴that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

And so began my quest...

What does a Christian Woman look like?: Love Is?

What does a Christian Woman look like?: Love Is?: I'm sure this is a title I will use many times. I am thinking about a woman who is a minister. I've known her many years. Not close friends ...

Love Is?

I'm sure this is a title I will use many times. I am thinking about a woman who is a minister. I've known her many years. Not close friends but acquaintances. There has always been something between us. For my part I've felt like she just plain doesn't like me. I have been critical of her integrity in recent years. Based on what I saw and experienced in dealing with her. BUT God sees her fit for his use. So how do I reconcile what I know God's word says regarding ministers and what I have seen in her life from my vantage point? 
Before you jump on me for judging her...
I've already been there. Who am I to judge?  God and man know that my own faults are many and obvious. And yet I still can't support her ministry. I just can't.
I think I've finally found a key to the door of peace on this one. God promises that His Word will not come back void. The promise is not tied to the messenger, but to the message. She is willing to present Him. And He honors that.

Isaiah 55:10-12

21st Century King James Version (KJ21)

 ¹⁰For as the rain cometh down and the snow from heaven, and returneth not thither, but watereth the earth, and maketh it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower and bread to the eater,
   
 ¹¹so shall My word be that goeth forth out of My mouth: It shall not return unto Me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.
   
 ¹²"For ye shall go out with joy, and be led forth with peace; the mountains and the hills shall break forth before you into singing, and all the trees of the field shall clap their hands.

You go to that church too?!?

We were at a birthday party the other night. The kids all had tons of fun. I was looking for someone to sit and chat with. I talked with a grandma, and a few others but there were two women in particular I wanted to chat with. One has a brother who has started a church in a really poor part of town. She and I had chatted a couple of nights before at a school function. Very briefly, just enough for her to relate the basics as to how he is doing. It sounds like he could really use some support but she was quick to inform me that he wants the people to "own" their church and community. They have about 50 people. This time I wanted to see if she would share any more about her brother's church but more importantly I was hoping she would tell me about herself. I am really curious about her and where her heart is. We ended up talking about some needs at the school our children attend. She and her family were sitting with some others they knew from the sports teams their kids are active with. I'm still curious. My spirit says there is something there, but is it strong and healthy? And is it OK for me to wonder?
The other woman works for a fairly well known humanitarian organization and her husband too is working to establish a church. They had tried a home based church last year, but I had the feeling it was proving very difficult with their active family. We discovered that we attend the same church, different services. We had a pretty nice conversation. I hope she will call. I am interested in her perspective on "What Does a Christian Woman Looks Like." Do Christian women reach out to each other outside of Sunday services, seminars or Christian Conferences? Shouldn't we care about each other's spiritual life as well as the physical life that consumes our days?

Sizing each other up?

Well, it seems to me that one of the first things you notice about another woman is her weight. Her clothes. Her hair. Her makeup. Her shoes. Her bag. Her jewelry. The outward dressing. You take note of the style, and expense with which she has clothed herself. And you make a judgement call. Is she like me? Do we have anything in common? Will we be friends or just acquaintances? You notice her hands and her voice. And then you notice her eyes. All of this your brain processes in just seconds. And you make a judgement call. You decide in seconds how to approach her and what you want the outcome to be. I believe that there is an assessment being done on a spiritual level as well. 
Do we have the same Spirit in us?

1st Mention of my Blog

I was at a meeting this afternoon and mentioned that I was starting a blog. "Oh, what about?" I hemmed and hawed because of the type of meeting that was about to start then in a split second decided to be honest."It's about something that has intrigued me for many years. What does a Christian Woman look like?" The immediate response was: " Proverbs 31, of course!" I was wondering how long it would take for that particular scripture to come up.

What I want to look at is more than that. How does Proverbs 31 and all of the other scriptures aimed at women play out in day to day living? As well as the other scriptures related to christian living in general. How do we weave God's Word into the fabric of our lives. Is it the yarn of choice? An accent thread? A shiny accent to dress up the whole cloth? Do you understand where I want to go?

First I have to define what I mean by "Christian Woman". I am not talking about christian in the secular sense.  Christian as in not Muslim, Catholic, Buddhist etc. I am talking about Christian as in a woman who has accepted the Lord Jesus Christ as her savior, Acts 4:12. What happens after that?

First Things First

I've been thinking about this idea for a long time. What exactly does a Christian Woman look like? How does she think? How does she live out her beliefs? How can you tell she is a Christian?


So, I am going to write about my thoughts and observations and hopefully answer the question for myself as well as you. Sit back, have your Bible handy, open your eyes and ears and let's start this journey!